Florida-Day 6 (Sat.Apr.11th)-I Hate Goodbyes

As the REO song “Time For Me To Fly” goes, it “really hurt for me to say goodbye”, as I had a real tough time saying goodbye to Amanda. I really wanted to cry, and apologize for everything that I wish I could have done to keep her from the harm of her own mother, but in our country the woman has the final say in 99.99999999999999999999% of all matters as it relates to our children. And yes, I make no bones about it, our current family legal system pisses me off a very great deal. You only have a say if you have money. No money? No children.
Placing Amanda on that bus was a very sad ordeal for me. I felt as if I were sending her onto a bus that was headed for Baghdad instead of Orlando. There were a few times where I actually had to look away, and choke back tears, so as not to make a scene.

It even reminded me of the first time when her mother and I placed Amanda on a school bus for the very first time. I remembered trying to prep Lorraine about how strong we must be, about how we must look happy, and be strong, for fear that Amanda would see us upset and have her cry. Well, she never cried, but when she got on that bus, it was me who began to bawl like a baby. I think that was back in 1992, the last year that I ever lived in the Bronx.

My parents, who drove us to see Amanda off, followed her bus for a little while, as it took off for I-95 north. Everybody was sad, and realizing this, I tried to break the ice by suggesting how funny it would be if we would have just followed her bus all the way back to Orlando….and then turn around and drive back home. The trip back was very solemn, and my other two children, especially Stephanie, mentioned how they already missed Amanda. Sigh.